Pinnochio would have made a great poker foe. Every time he lied, his nose would grow, providing the other players with a tell. Here is a story about those poker thieves.
W.C. Fields would have been a worthy poker opponent in today's world.
The great comedian from the 1930s admittedly was a thief, scoundrel, liar and drinker. And I am not referring to mineral water or Perrier.
When it comes to poker, the same can be said of 95 percent of the people you will find yourself playing against whether the game is a tournament or cash.
Ah, yes. Poker rooms are dens of iniquity. There is no question about that.
But poker players are liars with style. And a true poker player will make far more friends than enemies across that green felt table.
When I sit down for a game of poker, I often find myself thinking of Slim Sarwark, who owned a used car lot in Phoenix, AZ. The lot was called Miracle Used Cars and Slim, a Texan, had hung a lot of signs on the property like 'If it runs good, it's a miracle.' Or 'Buyer, beware. When you drive it off the lot, it's yours!'
Let's face it:
Once you sit down at a poker table, you are in uncharted territory.
Your bankroll no longer belons to you. It is in the hands of fate. Most players know that, and the rest will soon find out.
I often offer a greeting to the other somber-faced players before I sit down at their table: 'This is the table my mother warned me against, but unfortunately nobody listens to their mother until it's too late. Deal me in."
Or...
...I might tell one of the players whom I know and consider a friend, "Hey, Buddy, I heard the good news. They removed your ankle bracelet. And I understand your probation officer believes your story, that those two guys were dead when you entered the apartment."
Huh? Just poker talk among friends.
I have made a lot of friends playing poker. In my younger immature days, I would get so angry at the other players that I would stand in front of a mirror in a bathroom at the casino or at my apartment and mutter repeatedly, 'You wouldn't dare raise me with a full house.'
I no longer do that. I realize that the real enemy in a poker room is yourself.
Poker is like golf. A golfer can blame only his own game for the errant shots that sail off into the woods or a lake. The same is true when you lose at poker.
You have the knowledge, the understanding of odds, the consequences of a bluff gone wrong. But you do it anyway, and your bankroll suffers.
Poker has enjoyed a long reputation as a game of thieves. That it is, but it is legal thievery.
I read a story once...
...about a tribe of Indians who had a friendly relationship with the settlers in a community somewhere in Arizona. The Indians played poker with the settlers, and more often than not ended up losing.
Author: Geno Lawrenzi Jr.
(Geno Lawrenzi Jr. is an international journalist, magazine author and ghostwriter and poker player who lives in Phoenx, AZ. He has published 2,000 articles in 50 magazines and 125 newspapers. If you want to share a gambling story or book idea with him, send an email to glawrenzi@gmail.com ).
