My Lying Ways

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August 17th, 2017
Back My Lying Ways

Poker may be the only game in the world where it is acceptable and even necessary to be a liar.

I will go one step further: the better you can lie in poker, the more you will be rewarded. When I lived on St. Maarten in the eastern Caribbean, I would work hard on my bluffing techniques to stay ahead of the opposition.

When I wasn't playing poker, I would head down to one of the white sand beaches and luxuriate in the tropical sun. Sometimes I would be accompanied by an island beauty or two and we would throw Frisbees or a soccer ball while frolicking in the surf.

One of my swimming companions was Debra, who was born on the island of Dominica. She was fascinated by poker and would ask me many questions about the game.

'Geno, do you bluff when you play poker?' she might say.

'Sometimes. Bluffing is an important part of poker, especially when you don't have a winning hand.'

'Is bluffing the same as lying?'

I thought about that and shrugged. 'I suppose so. You are representing something you do not have, so I guess that is the same as lying.'

The island beauty wrinkled her nose. 'Then you would not be a good person to marry,' she said. 'How could anyone be certain you were telling the truth?'

I playfully tossed some sand at her. 'That's easy. I would never lie to someone as beautiful as you,' I said. She smiled, but I don't think she believed me.

In a poker game, a player must be capable of telling a lie the same as he would tell the truth. If you are good at it, you can pull off a successful bluff. If you are bad, another player might be bold and call your bet.

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It takes practice to be a good liar in poker. I did a lot of practicing when I lived in the Caribbean.

I played a lot of poker with friends who owned restaurants on the island. Jack Parker, a native of Scottsdale, AZ., owned Peg Leg Pete's, a popular restaurant that served the best meatloaf and steak dinners on the island.

Jack loved poker. He was a good player who didn't take his losses seriously. He was also fairly easy to bluff. I enjoyed having him in a hand because I knew my chances of bluffing him out of a pot were good.

We joked about it. When I came out betting, Jack would say, 'Another busted flush, huh?'

I would shake my head. 'Not this time. This time I have one of the rarest of hands -- a straight flush.'

Jack would think about my response, shrug, and give me a call. I would turn over a flush.

'Sorry,' I would say as the dealer pushed me the pot. 'I lied.'

I ate many lunches and dinners at Peg Leg Pete's. He had an attractive waitress named Rosalee that I kept trying to take out dancing.

'I don't have any dancing shoes,' she would say. 'Will you buy me a pair?'

Jack claimed he served the best steaks and meatloaf on St. Maarten. His steaks were good, made of prime grade A beef. There was another restaurant on the island that also claimed to serve great meatloaf. The owner was a friend o Jack's. One day I challenged them to a contest.

'I will write a story about your restaurants and we can have your customers write in their votes,' I said. 'That way we'll determine who makes the best meatloaf in St. Maarten.'

They loved the idea and the contest was held. I wrote a page one article in my newspaper the following Saturday. Both restaurants drew a lot of customers who ordered the meatloaf. I actually went to both restaurants -- the Peg Leg Pub for lunch and the other restaurant for dinner. I voted for Jack's meatloaf.

After I published an article about the results, Jack came up to me at his restaurant.

'I used a secret ingredient to win,' he said. 'But I'll never tell you what it was. You might publish it.'

When Jack left, I called Rosalee to my seat.

'What does he use to make his meatloaf special?', I whispered, knowing Jack was watching.

She leaned over and whispered, 'Apple sauce. It moistens the meat and makes it taste delicious.'/p>

I asked her shoe size and bought her a pair of dancing shoes. That night after work, we went dancing on a balmy tropical night in St. Maarten and I never lied to her once.

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