A very intriguing email arrived the other day from a poker player in Gainesville, FL. Don W. has been playing at the Indian-owned casinos and on casino cruise ships sailing from the coasts of Florida. He is on a losing streak and here is what he wrote.
'Dear Geno: I have reached a crisis in my career as a poker player. When I first began playing, I was a winner. I won up to 80 percent of the time that I played. I have a girl friend that I love very dearly. Both of us attend college and we were planning to get married. At first, she didn't mind my poker playing, but about three months ago she decided I was spending too much time on the cruise ships and not enough on my studies and on her. Since then, my winnings have gone down and I have been in a blue funk. What should I do? When I win, she is happy, but if I book a loss, she becomes a fighting tiger who is impossible to reason with. HELP! Don W., Gainesville, FL.'
Romantic problems between the sexes can turn even the best poker player into a loser.
One rule I set for myself a long time ago is this; if I am in a disturbed relationship that has grabbed control of my emotions, I put aside my poker playing until I get the problem resolved. If I fail to solve the problem, and on occasions I have, it can become very costly to my bankroll.
We had a guy who was a regular at the American Legion Post in Phoenix, AZ. Ernie was a very competent player who won more often than he lost. He was a happy-go-lucky person who drove a bakery truck for a living. One night he came into the game wearing a glum look. When we spoke to him, his answers were short and abrupt. He just didn't want to talk to anybody.
For a couple of weeks, he was in the same mood. One night I decided to go for the jugular and I asked him point-blank what his problem was. He told me he had broken up with his girl friend. They were still living together but had basically stopped speaking to one another. The lack of emotional connection was literally driving him crazy.
I knew Ernie like a brother and I liked his girl friend, Betty. I asked him if he had any hobbies. He blinked, shook his head and said, 'Fishing?' It was more a question than an answer.
'Go fishing,' I told him. 'Take a weekend and go down to Rocky Point or Guaymas, Mexico. Take Betty if she will go with you, and if she doesn't want to travel there, go by yourself.'
Ernie took my advice. At first, Betty rejected his offer, but when he began packing up and she realized he was serious, she decided to go with him. They had a marvelous time fishing off the back of a small charter boat they had rented. They caught fish, drank beer, and that night made love in a hotel that overlooked the ocean. They were back together, the emotional problem had been solved, and Ernie started winning at poker. It cost me some money, but it was worth it to help out a friend.
Good solid players -- including professionals -- can have their games damaged or even destroyed by their wives or significant others. An emotional crisis can affect your judgment at everything you do, from your job to your relationship with others and to the way you play poker.
A poker player who is in an emotional crisis doesn't concentrate. They have trouble relaxing at the game and are restless. Rather than sitting down and figuring out odds and probabilities, they want to get up and walk around. They are not happy campers. Poker has become a chore rather than a happy time for them and they are not that interested in playing.
If you are going through such emotional woes, consider stopping playing for a while. Go fishing, play golf, play tennis, visit a library and do some reading, or take a cruise. It will pay off in the end.
Take a short break from poker if the problem is minor, and if it is major, take a long break. This is my advice to Don and it's my advice to any readers on this website who are suffering from a similar problem. Good luck and let the games begin.
Author: Geno Lawrenzi Jr.
(Geno Lawrenzi Jr. is an international journalist, magazine author and ghostwriter and poker player who lives in Phoenx, AZ. He has published 2,000 articles in 50 magazines and 125 newspapers. If you want to share a gambling story or book idea with him, send an email to glawrenzi@gmail.com ).
